go do what you do best...puke behind churches
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You smell like stripper and shame
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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