she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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