pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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