The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
