yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
