I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize