Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
