Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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