she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I am one with the molecules
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
