I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
