It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
