So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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