I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
