I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
