No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
