I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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