Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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