I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
