Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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