You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize