It's like God shit irony all over that family
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
