That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Fuck appropriateness.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
