I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
