if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
