im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
