Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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