he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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