Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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