I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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