Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
