Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
