used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
