Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
