morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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