there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize