I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize