This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
