so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize