im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize