Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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