Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
