this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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