Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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