maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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