**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
They have beer where we have blood.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
