His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
