Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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