It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
