dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How external is "for external use only"?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
