it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
