id be glad to
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He's on the porch naked. Help.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
