It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
