I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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