Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
