I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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