No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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