Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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