There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so explain again why im purple
no
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
