He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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