He is an equal opportunity slut.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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