absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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