I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
is wine microwaveable?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
