I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
