New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
