Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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