You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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